Please pay me, Seattle Parks and Rec.

Today, I scooted to the park. Magnuson Park. It's adorable.

Let's look at the vandalism. Why would anyone write, "Salmon in the Shower" in curvy letters, and follow it with an impressive drawing of said salmon in said shower? Probably because the vandalizer was overcome with the park's general adorableness and felt that she or he had to continue the preciousness.

Then there's the dog park. At most dog parks, people would look at me and ask their dog-loving friend, "Why is that girl at the dog park even though she doesn't have a dog? That's creepy." At Magnuson, nobody notices my creepiness. The dozens of frolicking, swimming, sniffing canines distract dog-owners from the non-dog-owners. My creepiness today allowed me to pet a collie puppy, yellow lab puppy, and pug that snorted.

Finally, happy people abound at Magnuson Park. Immediately after my arrival, I plopped down on some grass in front of seven ducks. The ducks gave me a look like, "Give me food, Giant Featherless Duck." (Animals don't know we're the not the same. They're so dumb.) Then a large, middle-aged, Italian man walked through the bird crowd and leaped into the lake. He swam out to a big pole. Then he turned around and swam back to shore where his bald friend was sitting on a lawn chair. Neither of them were smoking cigars.

When I left Italian Swimmer and Bald Sitter, I discovered an African family that was afraid of dogs. Actually, I only know the mother and five-year-old were scared of dogs, because when a Schnauzer approached them, they scooted away. The kid screeched. The rest of the family stood around and spoke in an African language. I didn't understand what they were saying, because I only know English and about diez palabaras in Spanish, but if the others were afraid of Schnauzers, they spoke about the fear in a calm tone.

One of these days, I will take you to Magnuson Park.