S2S09 Details

Ski to Sea is a relay race. There are seven legs, as if it is a monster. Here's how it went down for the Book Club Division Champs:

Cross-country skiing: Me. I got fifth place... or fifth from last. Actually, I only noticed four people behind me, but records indicate there were more. Next year, I intend to get fifth from first. You heard it here first!

Downhill snowboarding: Michelle. She is my original hiking buddy, and she is the world's most mountain-goat-like human... in climbing ability, not looks. (She is definitely hoofless.) Michelle was amazing. She sprinted up a mountain passing dozens and then flew down in time measurements so small there are not yet words for it. That's incredible, because there are lots of words for time measurements.

Running: EThomps. EThomps' knees took it for the team as she sprinted down Mount Baker ahead of all those fools whose teams Michelle had passed. She was a stud. AND SHE SAW A BEAR! As much as I need to see a wild bear, I would not trade places with EThomps because running 8 miles down a mountain is ridiculous and only mad, athletic folks like EThomps do things like that.

Road biking: Lynn. Lynn zoomed nearly 40 miles to Everson and, as far as we know, was never attacked by anything from above. This includes both birds and anvils. She was, however, attacked by the enthusiastic screams of her teammates as they/we drove by in a tizzy of support.

Canoing (is that really how you spell it?): EBot and Courthouse. These two blockheads were not blockheady on the Nooksack River! No, no, they paddled their way to v-i-c-t-o-r-y with strength, intellect, and images in their heads of men in red dresses.

Mountain biking: Jodi. Jodi was our star athlete. When she finished her racey leg, her body legs were covered with mud and success. She came in 104th overall! Out of, like, 400 people! Geeze, Jodi is fast.

Kayaking: Bethany Jean. Bethany not only rocked the kayak better than I did last year (rocking as in "did a swell job", not a "made the boat floop back and forth"), but she wore a cuter hat! OMG, Beth! Additionally, she crossed the finish leg with flair as she unintentionally did the Stanky Leg while ringing the Bell of Glory.

Managing/Driving: Ghetto Pig. Last year, G.P. saved the day by coasting down the mountain with only cubic centimeters of gasoline left in the car. This year, she planned ahead and didn't even need to coast! After the race, she was selected as MVP and next-book-chooser for the Book Club portion of our Book Club/Ski to Sea team.

Assistant to the Managering/Video taping: NicUnCool. NicUnCool had to work for Jesus Sunday morning, but she carried her weight - in this case, "weight" means "cooler" - later in the day. Plus, she and Ghetto Pig chose some excellent crafts for the Eve of Race dinner. I admit, I gave NicUnCool a hard time for mixing up her priorities the first half of race day, but she did all right. She did alllllll right.

S2S09

I haven't told you about Ski to Sea 2009! Oh my gosh! You aren't prepared for this entry! The reason I didn't internettily build up the race like I did last year, though, was because I was training hard.

Maybe that's a lie.

Prepared or not, Better Lovers Book Club participated in Ski to Sea yesterday. We won. First place. Millions of dollars in prize money and overwhelming amounts of media attention.

Maybe that's another lie!

We did get first place in the little known (as in, our team knows about it, and now you know about it) Book Club Division. Second year in a row! Two for two!

Details later, if I feel like it. Until then, a team picture:

Please notice my new spectacles.

Bird News

Mockingbirds can tell people apart. I think that's a little freaky. You know who probably thinks it's freakier? My pal, Lynn. She's afraid of birds. In fact, she's afraid of anything that can attack her from above. I suspect she also fears bats, anvils, angels, and hail. And you know what? I bet she's not afraid of penguins, ostriches, or emus. They're birds too, Lynn! Stop claiming bird hatred if it's really things-from-above hatred that possesses you!

Anyway, if people keep saying you're paranoid because you claim a bird hates you, you may actually be right, especially if you're mean and sass the grandma who tapped your shoulder at the Mariner game. Yes, that person exists. She wore hoop earrings and rooted for the Anaheim Angels. If I were a mockingbird, I would recognize her and say, "That girl needs some niceness bird-swooped into her." Then I would, as you guessed, swoop. She'd be frightened and therefore nicer. Fear changes people.

Summer space

Do I look like a cowgirl? No? Well, after a few months in Wyoming I will. I'll walk around with a lasso and a piece of hay in my mouth, and I'll say, "Howdy." That's it. No more conversation. Just "howdy." I'll be the strong, silent type of cowgirl.

Here are things I have lined up in Jackson:
-A job
-A boyfriend
-A noble quest
And now...
-A bedroom!

Yes, as of twenty minutes ago, I officially have a room to rent for June and July. Highlights include a flower garden, my own bathroom, shag carpet, and wood panelling.

With this bedroom decor, I may actually have an identity crisis. Cowgirl? Disco queen? I don't knooow!

What I decided over salmon and potatoes.

1. If I could have dinner with anybody alive, it would be Nelle Harper Lee.

We would not eat mockingbird.


2. If I could have dinner with anybody dead, I think I'd choose Lucille Ball. I considered someone ancient, but the language barriers would get in the way.

Man, there would be some laughter at that meal. I'm a riot, and Lucy's kind of funny, too.


3. Who'd you have dinner with? Besides me. Everyone chooses me. Let's get unpredictable.

For NicUnCool, who brings out the prettiest in me

Mystery solved

Have you heard about the universities receiving millions of dollars from an anonymous donor? And you know how everyone wants to know who it is? I have the answer.

It's me.

Psssyyyyccchhh. But it could be, practically, with the $400 tax rebate I just got. You da bomb, federal government!

PS Regarding the "federal government" link, I KNOW there are other branches in the federal government, but I liked this website best. Get on it, judicial system.

This graph won't put you to sleep, unless you're French or American or something.

Who the heck sleeps the most? Norwegians? Koreans? Mexicans? Americans? Answer: none of those, you turkey. It's the French!

Here's a graph. The bars represent the average number of minutes slept by citizens surveyed.

"Bonjour, I am French, and I am sleeping."

Birthday Party

A few weeks ago, I had a birthday party. We chose our favorite decade and dressed up to fit in that decade. Then we sang Karaoke. Here are a few pictures that don't do the night justice.

Shannon (left) did my hair (center). She is a genius. Brittany (right) had green jaguars hidden in her one-piece. Truth.

Renee and Steve were pilgrims. They won Best Party People. I'm not sure how Renee got into her dress, but I am impressed. Here they are singing "Country Roads."


Drew and I represented two different decades, and we represented them well.

Smoothie post

My favorite drink is the smoothie. Has been for years. In high school, it might have been an obsession. Smoothie here, smoothie there, smoothie smoothie everywhere!

Here are the qualities of a good smoothie:
-Thickness
-Fruitiness

That's it. They're delicious AND simple. Holla atcha, smoothie!