Timeline of my phone

November 2007: Phone arrives in my mailbox. Makes chirpy "incoming text" sounds that charm me

August 2008: Phone annoys me a little because every once in a while, it freezes and won't let me call, text, etc. I give the phone the stink eye. It doesn't respond, because electronics don't have feelings or facial expressions.

February 2009: Phone lazily sits around in a desk drawer because it's in Norway and who wants to pay all the money to call the United States from Norway? Only crazies. Phone does not figure out a way to be useful. What a loser.

May 2009: Phone sucks. Phone battery dies in, like, six minutes (or 1.2 days, cadav) and does the freezy thing more often. Doesn't get replaced, though, because I am poor.

June 2009: Phone falls in a ecofriendly hotel toilet. Survives after phone version of CPR.

July 3, 2009: Phone tumbles into a tupperware filled with ice and water. I don't notice because I am DESTROYING THE COMPETITION at dodgeball. Phone cannot be resuscitated.

July 4, 2009: I get a way better phone and though my vault of money I swim around in like Scrooge McDuck is less full, I am happy and reachable.

My favorite things - roller disco in costume

My favorite basement activity is the roller disco. It is enhanced by costumes (not themed!) and dancey songs (typo: first I wrote "snogs") that are not limited to disco. So really, it's like a "roll around to upbeat tunes wearing silly outfits", but that's not catchy at all.

Roller discos can be challenging when few participants have items on which to roll, but generally, the spirit of the r.d. inspires folks to share their wheely toys. This spirit of camaraderie enhances the event fourfold.

Other aspects to increase the magnificence of a roller disco include limbo, Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" sing-along, and highlighters in a black light room. Our recent roller disco party resulted in the drawing of at least one elephant on a neck and exultations of Vitamin D on an arm.

Roller Disco, I want to draw a portrait that embodies your spirit and put it in a living room wall and look at it every morning while I eat my oatmeal.

My favorite things - Supreme Court Justice nominee

My favorite current Supreme Court Nominee is Sotomayor. The fact that she's the ONLY current Supreme Court Nominee is irrelevant. She is like a cool breeze on a hot, mosquitoey day. Not only does it cool you down, but it whooshes the bugs away! You're super, Sotomayor, and I like you.

My favorite things - barbecue

My favorite barbecued food is a shish kabob. You can put practically anything on it! Typically, I stick to a simple meat, pineapple, onion, mushroom... you know, the usual. (How the heck do you type the first syllable of "usual"? Because that's what I want to say.)

But if I wanted, well geeze, I could add bananas, ostrich meatballs, bagel bits, flower petals, and more!

The world is my shish kabob oyster. And I could add oysters, too.