Here's a guy holding a baby manatee he saved.

Heeeeeey baby manatee.

I'd write one of those happy, medium-tempo rap songs about this week.

Sure, I've graduated, but that doesn't mean I've stopped learning. Here are some new things I've discovered:

-Raphael Saadiq!

-Apple Cinnamon tea tastes like that powder apple cider mix. This is excellent news. Tea is cheaper and healthier, and if a snoot were to call me up randomly and say, "TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING THIS INSTANT," answering, "Drinking tea," would be thought of more highly than "Drinking cider."

-Dog throw-up does not get less gross as one grows older.

-One can simultaneously love and hate a book. ::stink eye to Bel Canto::

-Unemployment isn't so bad when your parents are willing to pay for housing, food, wine, the occasional ice cream sundae, and so on.

-I am da bomb. Psssssych! That is not a NEW discovery.

Geeze, I need a job.

Reuinted and it feels so good.

One thing I missed while in Norway: book club. Look at us. Look! Only literacy and hilaaaaaaarious jokes about Voldemort could bring forth such smiles.

Sister Act

I have decided to spend my unemployment doing important things - thus, the four part series, "Musicals Are My Soul: KJW's Correct Opinions About Great Movies." This is the first installment.

Sister Act is the greatest film of its time.

Maybe I'm biased because as a wee lady I hated Mass more than anything on earth, and Sister Mary Clarence's choir could have changed that. But probably not. I think the allure of Sister Act is universal.

First of all, um, Whoopi! Who else could have fit that afro into a habit? Who else could have switched from gold pants to black and white robe so gracefully? Who else could have balanced such sass with compassion when telling Alma to check her battery? Nobody. To this day, my heart beats faster when I see Whoopi Goldberg on screen. I don't like fast heartbeats, though, so I don't watch The View.

Also, that scene where Sister Mary Clarence tries to say a fancy prayer before eating the chili-looking stuff but instead says, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I will fear no hunger," is freaking brilliant. Sister Act is so funny!

And finally, there's all the heavenly music. When Sister Act is playing, one cannot sit still, no matter one's religious preference. Even Protestants that usually feel uncomfortable when someone mentions Mary will get moving when "Oh Maria" starts playing. Also, Sister Act not only provides music for your listening enjoyment - it also teaches you how to sing! To this day, I still imagine myself singing above in a room full of people, lots of silverware, people dropping stuff, talking loud, drunks, women with trays going "What're you gonna have?" when I sing Salt'n'Pepa tunes at Karaoke.

I leave you with this masterpiece:



Sister Act be with you.

FYI 2

I like Paula Abdul, and I will defend her from your scornful, envious remarks.

FYI

Ryan Seacrest is my least favorite person.

Walden, out!

The Good Life

Here are the productive things I've done since finishing grad school:
-Set up my parents' wireless internet
-Made a delicious sandwich
...

The end.

I tore myself away from gazing at a sparkly creek to tell you this.

I've been eavesdropping on your conversations, so I know you have been upset by my lack of updates. Here are things I've been doing instead of blogging:

1. Cross-country skiing. Through mini-forests, across a lake, to Yellowstone hot springs where we relaxed like nobody's business!

2. Snowboarding. I'm getting better, and my muscles will stop shaking soon.

3. Seeing moose. Four of them! Two trotting down a hill to snuggle with me, one on the side of the road, and one muppling about in the river as we skied toward it!

4. Tricking you into thinking I'm still in Norway because I'm doing all these snow things, but no! I am in Wyoming!

5. Graduating. Teaching certificate! Woo! Masters degree! Woo! Real world! Hmm...

6. Celebrating St. Patrick's Day. I dropped some food coloring in my mouth and swished it around. It was a good look. Everyone wanted to date me.

7. Missing my Europeans. I like them. I tell the Americans about them.

Anyway, there will be more, next time with pictures (maybe)! Wait patiently until then, ya doofus.

Card Reenactment

We are the most hilarious.

In Transit

Me: Hi, Copenhagen airport!

Copenhagen Airport: Hei hei, Kelly.

Me: Thanks for letting me nap on your bench. I didn't get any sleep last night because my favorite Italians stayed up all night with me doing moose impressions. We also ate chocolate and played rummy. I won. And oh, oh, we also painted a scar on Fabio's head and we pretended we were the cover of the Harry Potter movie. This is what you do on your last night in Trondheim. So, you know, I'm tired. And I can't afford to shop here. So what's a girl to do? Nap on your bench! And blog! And observe how well-dressed people here are. This is an ok 7-hour layover.

Copenhagen Airport: ...That's nice, Kelly.

I'm boring the airport.

10 hours left in Trondheim

In 12 hours, I will be in Copenhagen. Oh my goodness! In 24 hours, I will be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. Oh my goodness again!

When I arrive in Seattle tomorrow evening, I fully expect you all to be wearing pants with my face imprinted all over them, especially on the knees and calves.

Thank you.

Also tomorrow!

International Women's Day!

Tomorrow!

One year since our first date!

Polish sausage has been bringing people together for centuries.

Potato question and answer

Q: Where did potatoes originate?
A: Peru and Chile.

Q: When was the potato introduced in Europe?
A: 1536.

Q: How much does Kelly like potatoes?
A: So much she could elbow you in the face.

This is productive, in a way.

I plan ahead. That's why I have decided to stay up really, really late watching funny Youtube videos. I'll be very busy when I return to Seattle on Tuesday, and I want to have adjusted to the time difference already.

Here is what made me crack the heck up just now:

I will miss them.

Today, I taught my last lesson in Norway. That is too crazy, TOO CRAZY.

Here are things I got from my amazing students and Cooperating Teachers, Astrid and Anja:
-Laughter, all the time (lots of jokes about fruit)
-A homemade Norwegian sweater, knitted by Astrid's mom!
-Unbelievable growth as an educator
-Inspiration to teach abroad
-Two letters of recommendation
-Inspiration to teach English Language Learners
-Flowers
-Chocolate
-The nicest compliments ever from both students and teachers

And tomorrow, Astrid is taking me on a north-of-Trondheim adventure. Norwegians are too wonderful, TOO WONDERFUL.

(On the right is a map of our planned adventure. Fjords! Viking ruins! Hopefully moose!)

Zen Dog

World, I want you to know about Edward Monkton. He is my new favorite artist. Once you have clicked the link and been educated, you will share my newfound love for him and the colorful things he draws!

Celebratory howl

Ooooooooooooobama! Thank you for saving me!

News Big Mac

Good news: The sun is shining, the air is warm*, and I don't teach any lessons tomorrow.

Bad news: I have 20-something essays to grade by tomorrow night. Probably no sunshine for me.

Good news: My students are clever and precious and produce thoughtful work that I kind of enjoy grading.

Bad news: Nothing. I just had to write "bad news" to keep with the "news big mac" theme. What kind of sandwich would "good news, bad news, good news, good news" be? Something weird, for sure.

Good news: I had a dream about baby bears, cuddly kittens, and Mr. Bean! I really did! And I called one of the kittens "Little Abe." I love my subconscious.

*By "warm", I mean 4 degrees Celsius.

Why I slept in until nine!

Our building's front door is locked, so when a guest wants in, they push a button outside next to a button that says your room number. Then a phone in your room goes "BOODLEDOO BOODLEDOO BOODLEDOO!"

I usually like it, but somebody - a drunk, I suspect - BOODLEDOO'd my room three times at three in the morning. Here's how it went:

Phone: BOODLE DOO.
Kelly: Whoooo disturbs my sluuumbeeeerrrr?
I give the phone the stink eye and go back to sleep.
::one or ten or thirty second silence::
Phone: BOODLE DOO.
Kelly: Stop! Stop boodle dooing my room!
Phone: BOODLE DOO! BOODLE DOO! BOODLE DOO!
Kelly: You win!
I got out of bed, bzzzted the key button, and let whoever it was in the building. After sitting on my bed for a moment to make sure no one actually was coming to visit me, I went back to sleep and dreamed about fruit.

(The fact that Sara and I were once locked out at midnightish and had to randomly BOODLE DOO neighbors... and then have an Italian boost me into Sara's roommate's second story window... does not make me any more sympathetic to the fool that awoke me.)