The raccoons got into the following:-Hot dog buns
-Chocolate
-Doritos
-Fatima's Arby's bag
-The empty Lunchables container
-Our tough-gal/guy attitudes
The masked monsters also screeched in the night, freaking us out as we tried to sleep. Well, as most of us tried to sleep. Lindsay was telling "scary" stories. The screeching probably added nice effects to her attempts.
Finally, I nearly said, "Leave us, raccoons! We are Americans and already sad about our low dollar and incompetent administration. Go harass the neighbors!" It didn't work. Raccoons do not pity Americans.
5 comments:
I resent those quote marks, as though my stories were only allegedly scary. They were damn scary Walden, and a lot more campy than your snuggling and cooing in the corner...
Perhaps your stories weren't scary because you have this weird language where "snuggling and cooing" means "making fun of Lindsay's disappointing retellings of Edgar Allen Poe stories... and making fart sounds on arms."
you forgot about the one about her 'friend' in 'south dakota'...the man was in her house THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!
Oh, good memory. ROBBERS AREN'T SCARY, LINDSAY. GHOSTS ARE SCARY.
Pshhhhhh. You were scared. Don't even pretend.
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