Discontent

Forever ago, Washington enacted this law tsaying you can't talk on a cell phone while driving. That's dumb. I realize conversations about donuts/gay rights/cadav are distracting, but they're not the only thing. However, they're the only distraction legislated!

Soooo silly.

Here are things I do while driving that distract me as much or more as when I talk on my cell phone:
-Dance in a silly manner.
-Eat string cheese.
-Play rhyming games with the pair of aardvarks that always hang out in the back seat.
-Look for my sunglasses. I can never find them.
-Get blinded by the sun because I don't have my sunglasses.
-Check out puppies on the sidewalk.
-Sideswipe other Chevrolet Luminas so I can be the only one on the road.
-Look for Salt'n'Pepa on my iPod.
-Spill tea on my pants.
-Change into my celebrity outfit in case common folk at my destination (usually Safeway) ask for my autograph.
-Shave my legs and armpits using only a sharp rock.

Is congress going to regulate how much sun gets my eyes? Tea/pant conflicts? MY LEG STUBBLE? No, and they shouldn't get in the way of me calling friends to discuss urgent matters like Stonehenge.

I'm looking out for all of us. Keep that in mind when I run for important political positions, like treasurer of the Chevy Lumina Society. Yes, treasurer AND founder. I know.