Friday, March 12, 2010

First World Problems

What a dingbatty day. I'll explain using the math symbols "+" and"-" to indicate swell things and stupid things, respectively.

+I ate a third of a burrito for breakfast because that's the only food I had left in the fridge.

-I get to the office and realize I forgot to bring the papers I graded at home... the same papers I skipped the Trailer Park Boys sequel for!

+We hear good news about our school's contract, but it's even more boring than the other two things above, so I won't tell you.

Keep reading. It gets goofballo. Do you think I'd blog about 3/11/10 if the events were all on the scale of the above events? If so, YOU're goofballo.

-When I walked in the door at home, I smelled a terrible odor. Solomon the Gentlest Dog in the World had pooed a horrible poo in my bedroom.

-Since the poo had tainted one of my bed sheets, I tore up the bed. Suddenly, a SOMEWHAT LARGE SPIDER came running across the sheets. I killed it with some of the rage left over from discovering the poo. (I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH A SPIDER.)

+I bought cat food for Abe Lincoln. I explained the "All Walk" intersection to a baffled pedestrian.

+I won 2 games of Cribbage. Hamb and I mourned and celebrated, respectively, by eating sushi.

+I visited Jodi in Lynnwood, because she was in the area for a SPED conference. She taught me about Autism.

And here is where it gets doofiest....

-My eye plowed into the Lumina's car door. No, I was not intoxicated. No, the door hadn't swung into my face. I simply leaned to grab my phone and BOOM. Cut under my eye. It bled. Now it's all band-aidy. It may be accompanied by a black eye in the morning.

I'm ready for a poo-free, eye-wound-free 3/12/10.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

-All the BLs moving away means I may never see you again

+The dog poop was actually a blessing, because you may have never discovered your spider bedmate.

-/+* I'm still preggo.