And Kindle was its name-o

I'm looking at John Steinbeck. He resembles 20% of the men I'd see on Seattle's trendy Capitol Hill. His hair is lightly floofed, his expression is slightly pompous, and he's mustachioed. Don't ask me on a date, John Steinbeck. Do, however, stay on my Kindle because you're a delightful screensaver.

What? Oh, yeah, I have a Kindle. I'm one of thoooose, and I love it. Here are the books my teensy weensy machine has awaiting:
-Moby Dick
-War and Peace
-Poems by Emily Dickinson
-BOSSYPANTS! Booya!

(I ended with that last one by Ms. TINA FEY! Booya! for two reasons.
1. It makes me sound like less of a d'bag than those first ones did. I have no no problem sharing my appreciation of old, snooty books, but I do have shame about listing books to sound awesome. I listed them because they're big and my Kindle is small. Plus, they were free. So it's cool. And anyway, I have about 15 other books like those, and I didn't even tell you about them. 2. Bossypants will transform you into Peepants. I cannot count the number of times it has made me cackle aloud, and my counting skills are above average. Truth. Ask me to count something.)

I also use my Kindle to lose at chess (it keeps me humble), distract Hamb with the word jumble (it keeps him from interrupting bad TV shows I like), and stay up on the terrible, free books that are released every day (it keeps me from being a productive member of society).

I'm not an electronics nerd, but this thing has made my life wonderful. Owning a Kindle + knowing Tina Fey exists and continues to write = the happiest lady on this couch.