CNN needs my headline-writing skills. I need CNN's money. Let's work something out.

CNN just told me that a "Big Asteroid Could Hit Mars." Yes, they used those words - big asteroid. Not one of the small ones like my Snickerdoodles, nope. This asteroid will be big.

Big like what, CNN? Don't give me that. Don't give me that headline vagueness. Big like like my enormous bosom? Big like that comet from Armageddon that was going to destroy us until the heroic men sang "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and then were martyrs for humanity? Big like a big, big grizzly bear? I don't know! I don't know what big means to journalists and space people! One astronomer says of the incident, "These odds are extremely unusual. We frequently work with really long odds when we track ... threatening asteroids." Extremely unusual. Really long odds. I don't think this NASA employee ever took a communications course. Specifics, astronomer! We want specifics!

Also, after reviewing the the Story Highlights (bulleted for my reading convenience), I learn that this mysteriously-sized asteroid is named WD5. Ok. Ok, this doesn't work for me. I am renaming the big asteroid. I call it Pookie.

Pookie Could Hit Mars!

It's a start.