A year from now, I will be back from Norway.

"Oh, hey Norway." That is what I will say next January when I arrive in Trondheim to teach blonde kids for 10ish weeks. Except I might say it in Norwegian. Or Spanish. I already know a little Spanish.

Yes, friends and monsters, my fifth quarter "at" UW will take place in the cold, beige land of Norway. I look forward to improving myself as a professional: teaching classes filled with English Language Learners, experiencing the ups and downs of a nationalized curriculum, and figuring out how the heck to teach Norwegian literature. (There is Norwegian literature?)

I look forward to improving myself as a fashionista*: wearing cool ugly things like skinny jeans, transitioning from freezing weather to a rowdy dance club (or "disco", cadav) without taking off four THOUSAND layers, and only sporting tennis shoes when I'm playing tennis or want to be recognized as an American.

I look forward to improving myself as an Olympic ski jumper: learning how to put on skis, gliding down the bunny slopes without breaking bones, and breaking a world record for longest ski jump.

But first, I need a Viking hat.

My birthday is April 16th.

*I am not even in the beginning stages of fashionista. Really. Hooded sweatshirts and not cool. Neither are comfortable gold-toe socks. Truth.