This is Oats. Well, Oats and Buster. Oats is in the green shirt. He is my dad, and he is a badass.Evidence of Oats's badassdom:
-When I was about 9, I decided to tackle Oats into a footstool. He broke his rib, but didn't get mad. (Maybe that one rib is the only unbadass part of Oats.)
-Oats was my softball coach. I wasn't a fast runner, but once, he had me steal second against this really good team because they all knew of my slowness and didn't expect to run. The other team stood in shock. Oats and I had a good laugh.
-Oats had me (and all of his business students) memorize the Dale Carnegie's 21 rules of how to win friends and influence people. I still use them. That is why I am so charming.
-Oats taught me how to, "Walk in like you own the place," and "Do it until they tell you not to." That is why I am a little bit of a badass, too.
-Oats tells corny jokes.
-Oats drinks a lot of Mountain Dew.
-Oats is the best dad in the history of dads in every city, state, and country. Truth.
I love you, O!
