What! What! Did this really happen?

Socks

It is the start of the Expensive Sock Era.

Until 2007, I only owned cotton, white socks - white socks with gold toes, white socks with gold stripes, white socks that got mismatched so I'd have to wear non-mates but it wasn't a big deal because they were both white and cotton. It was like my high school, except instead of white people, it was white socks. Just lots and lots of white socks, everywhere.

Then, I started student-teaching. Can you wear white socks with black pants? Only if you are Michael Jackson! So I invested in several pairs of cheap, fally-downy black socks. For over a year, I wore white socks for the silliness and black socks for the professionalness.

Finally, boyfriend stepped in. He said, "Kelly, you are going to Norway. You need wool socks, and a warm hat. Here, I will buy you this warm hat. Please don't lose it in Fremont the first day you wear it." (Sorry.)

I was like, "Aight. I have one pair of wool socks right for that time I went snowshoeing with Michelle, and they are satisfactorily warm. They are thick and brown."

"Thick and brown? Your wool socks don't need to be thick and brown." He took me to his store and gestured to a wall of striped, snowflaked, non-super-thick foot coverings. "You can wear... synthetic wool!"

So, I bought synthetic and syntheticish wools socks. They are adorable, and they keep my toes warm, and some of them have enough black that I can wear them to work. Plus, they don't retain water like cotton, so I can wear a pair more than once without washing them! Not that I would. I am squeaky clean.

No more high school with predominately white people, and no more sock bag (I don't have a sock drawer right now... that's another story) with predominately white socks. Thank you relocation and shopping for adding color onto my feet. And into my life.

I've been giving you lots of links.

Hilary Clinton is funny. So is Obama's speech writer. Everyone involved in this is funny.

Prop 8 - The Musical

Lynn showed me THE BEST VIDEO EVER:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Snuggie. The blanket with sleeves.

Scotty Too Hotty and I were watching an informational and depressing documentary on genocide, when we learned about the Snuggie. Yes, the Snuggie! The Snuggie is different from a robe in that one looks like a cult member while wearing it, and it is called a Snuggie, not a robe. Any sane person prefers to say "Snuggie" over robe.

Snuggie. Snuggie.

Here's the commercial:


Hold on, hold on, hold on! It's not over.

After the informational and depressing documentary on genocide, I checked my email. The trash email, where I get spam. GUESS THE THIRD EMAIL IN MY INBOX. Yes! "Snuggie. The blanket with sleeves!"

I may be destined to buy a Snuggie. Will YOU be the lucky recipient?

Hypothetical call

Politicians everywhere are paranoid about prank calls. I, however, am not a politician. I am a professional bad ass. If President-Elect Barack Obama called me, you know what I'd say? I'd say, "Hey buddy! Let's bring world peace!" And we would. And our plan would involve puppies. And ginger snaps. And Top Chef.

Harry Potter on the brain.

Ma: You can talk on Snape, or whatever that's called.
Me: Skype?
Ma: Haha, yeah. That's it.

Animals and my conscience

You see what free press does? It makes me feel guilty about my favorite food. What's next, what's next? Eating COW is bad for the earth?

(That's a joke. I know eating cow is bad for the earth. And I still do it... but not that often. Really. And it has nothing to do with feeling bad for the cow. I don't feel that bad for cows. Cows would eat people, maybe. It's just that, you know, we only have so many resources until the inevitable day we conquer an infinite number of planets.)

He's driving. I'm blogging.

My boyfriend works here now.

(Do not be confused by the link. My boyfriend is not a sloth bear, not even a little.)

Nic is obsessed with me.

NicUnCool screamed, "Hottie, you best play this dweeby blog game where you choose a picture about which you previously blogged and make comments about it! And then hit me!"

I won't hit her - she's gone through enough just being herself - but I will post the picture. THIS picture:

These were "the tiniest Snickerdoodles I [had] ever baked." As of today, they were also the second most delicious Snickerdoodles I have ever baked. That's saying something, boy. I produce some amaaaaazing Snicks.

Today, I considered making more. Tomorrow is school T'giving, see, and my students are frequently hungry. Plus, they have been da bomb this past week, and I thought they deserved some snacks. So I told the students, "Students, you have been da bomb this past week, and I think you deserve some snacks. Que do you want?"

Thousands of them yelled, "Cookies!" And then, "You are the best teacher I have ever had, and will ever have, and our parents will send you money and hybrid cars!"

"Good answer," I thought. "I am better at baking than Rocky is at boxing Obama is at orating or NicUnCool is at being a freak."

Then I got home and started eating Friend Thanksgiving leftovers and then, oh geeze! I don't have time to bake cookies! And what if I accidentally poison the children! And what if the cookies come out different sizes as they are apt to do and the kiddies get all "Her cookie is bigger! His cookie is bigger!" and annoying!

So I went to Safeway and bought three giant bags of cheap cookies and one EFREAKINGNORMOUS sack of pretzels. (And two boxes of tea, and a bottle of Women's One-a-Day Vitamins. I did not buy the pomegranate, though that was an inner struggle like you wouldn't freaking believe.) (I love grocery shopping.) (And I love yesterday's daily puppy.)

In closing, I look good in red.

Wanted: Your Brilliance

The International Student-Teaching Guru informed me that I have do some kind of Norway-related research project. It can be filled with whimsy, as long as I can get approved by an adviser.

Please give me ideas. Quickly!

Huge bloody news

Beavers are back in Britain. Their buck teeth are crooked.