Cheap cheap cheap

I am typing on an oldish, crappyish computer. That used to bother me. "It takes many minutes for you to load!" I'd holler at it. "I am afraid of downloading more music into your computer brain!" I'd scream. But now it's not so annoying, because my renter's insurance is going to be dang cheap.

I don't own much of monetary value, you see. It all adds up - a cat tree here, a lime green ski outfit there - but I'm confident that the collective value of my junk is much lower than my peers.

The most expensive things I own:
-This adorable computer desk: $150ish
-Used mattress and box spring: $120ish
-Precious, speedy bike: $300ish
-Oldish, crappyish computer: now worth... maybe $250?
-Pictures of me looking adoooorable: $100,000ish

My "accept things for free, buy things used" lifestyle is a bargain, and because of this, my renter's insurance is, too. If frugality was a person - Fru Gality, perhaps - I'd hug him for seconds and seconds and then a few seconds more.

The Daily Puppy suggests this week will be adorable.

What's a better combination than chocolate and peanut butter? Donkeys and puppies!

Dubai is a weird place.

Dubai just constructed the tallest building in the world. It's freaking high. It is just under 1/5 the height of Mt. Rainier.

YOU'RE STRANGE, DUBAI ARCHITECTS. YOU ARE WEIRDOS.

Here are other equally ridiculous things the bosses in Dubai could have done:
-Committed themselves to eating one hundred German chocolate cakes a day for twenty-two years.
-Hosted "1,000 people vs. 1,000 koala" race, and then let trillions of robot cockroaches loose to distract the 2,000 racers.
-Looked at NicUnCool for ten seconds straight
-Dug a 900-square-mile hole and filled it with black licorice flavored ice cream, and then topping it with chocolate-covered black licorice bits shaped like house keys and 3-ring binders.

But they didn't. They chose the giant building. I don't know what is going on over there.

Too many goals.

It was the first day of winter quarter. I was filing rubrics. I was setting goals for the quarter.

Goal #1: Be more organized.
Goal #2: Focus on one thing at a time.

But, haha! That doesn't work at all!

Scientists - make this your resolution.

Superman has Kryptonite. Pooh has honey. NicUnCool has Ricky Martin Van Buren Raden the cat. I have ice cream.

Ice cream, you are like... yourself. Your frozen, heavenly, fatty, delicious self. I hate you. And I love you. You make me want you, and then you stick in my fat cells forever. Even Zumba can't cancel you out, and Zumba is an easy to moderate workout, depending on the day.

Now I hear that scientists are working on a healthier ice cream. Don't be confused! It's not good for you, despite what that tricky headline makes you think. It's just less bad. Like how Nicole Richie is less bad than Paris Hilton. Both ice creams will destroy your body, and both NR and PH will destroy your soul.

Scientists, stop half-assing it and produce a frozen, heavenly, nutritious, delicious self. Eliminate "fatty" and other bad adjectives. Create my dream food, already.

2010 - A Year for Ice Cream Miracles

Decade things: Songs I will love forever

Instead of making a list of songs that influenced me or blah blah blah, I have decided to tell you about songs from the last decade that I will love until I croak. Most of these songs are "bad." Good thing we're not snobby.

"Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Pink, Lil' Kim, and Mya. How freaking sing-alongable!

"Hey Ya" by Outkast. It was so exciting when I figured out the correct number of "All Right"s to sing.

"Mr. Brightside" by The Killers. I don't care what you say. It reminds me of trips to Canada.

"Single Ladies" by Beyonce. No, I'm not influenced by the moment. Even if this song weren't connected to memories of Norwegian bus stops and trendsetting by STH and I, it would still be magnificent.

"Yeah" by Usher, Lil Jon, and Ludacris. There was a tiny "Yeah"-shaped hole in my heart, and this song completed it.

"Crazy in Love" by Beyonce and Jay-Z. In addition to the booty-shaking it inspires, I really really really like to say, "Yes sir I'm cut from a different cloth / my texture/ is the best fur / chinchilla."

"Maria Maria" by Santana and that guy. I think they're describing me. I am Maria. I'm growing up in Spanish Harlem, living the life just like a movie star.

"Who Let the Dogs Out" by Baja Men. It's funny every! single! time!

2009: The Special Times (Part 2)

May: Ski to Sea!



June: Moving to Jackson Hole and having constant adventures. (Pictured: JENGA!!!! Not pictured: Bear sightings, creek floats, dodgeball, barbecue, etc.)



August: Hiking the Teton Crest with boyfriend, a.k.a. Motivational Hiker.



September: BL Camping Trip.



September: Vaux's Swifts and visit from the boyfriend.



October: Boyfriend's return to the magnificent PNW and Scaryaoke!



November: Loving my job all the time. (Not pictured.) Loving West Seattle all the time. (Not pictured.) Thanksgiving! (Pictured.)


December: I don't have ANY pictures from December, but boyf and I went to Winthrop! We also had a lovely Christmas. I ate a lot of Chex Mix, which is the proper way to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Two thousand nine, I like you a lot.

2009: The Special Times (Part 1)

OMG, the year is almost over! It's time to reflect! (Thanks for the inspiration, Drara.)

Favorite Moments, In Chronological Order Because I'm Too Indecisive to Choose Favorites:

January: Celebrating our new president with silly, silly Europeans and silly, silly Americans in silly, silly Norway.



January - March: Giving Americans bad names based on rowdy bus behavior in Trondheim, Norway.



February... or March: Learning to snowboard and do choreographed dances in Are, Sweden.




March: Boyfriend surprising me with a visit! Driving back to Wyoming with him! Cross-country skiing to hot springs!



April: Choose Your Favorite Decade birthday party!



April, May, June: Un/underemployment in Puyallup (including Alpacapalooza):


Are you ready for the second half of 2009? No. You can't be. It's too exciting.

Winthrop tripthrop

Hamble and I are moseying over to Winthrop this weekend. You know what we're going to do there?

Disco dance.

You know what else?

Cross-country ski.

But mostly the former. (Click it! CLICK THAT LINK!)

Safeway trip

Today, I bought Life cereal instead of instant oatmeal. IAMVERYUNPREDICTABLE!

How your brilliance can increase my magnificence

You guys, you guys, you guys. You know how I get tuition waived at all public Washington colleges? I've decided to take advantage of it.

WHAT CLASS SHOULD I TAKE NEXT QUARTER?

I've looked into extra endorsements, and they don't seem like the best fit right now. But I can still go for professional growth! Or personal growth! Or bicep growth! I don't even know!

Non-credit classes like "Chop Like a Chef" and "Pacific Northwest Wines" won't be free for me, but how about math? Or Psychology? Or something else?

Give me ideas asap as possible.

Your new favorite website

Should I wear galoshes tomorrow? Or maybe flippy-floppies? Let's see what President Obama would do.


Scarf it is, Mr. President. Scarf it is.