iGoogle, iSilly

My homepage, iGoogle, allows me to choose the background and theme. For a while, I used the cool, mappy, time of day one, and then I switched to this precious "pictures of the earth" theme. Now, I am on "random." Every day, iGoogle gives me a new theme, and the background picture switches every couple hours.

Just now, the banner/background was this:


Well, yeah. Why wouldn't it be an "ecology" cross-stitch lego pattern?

Rounding the buoy

One of my favorite moments in the history of moments was when I rounded the buoy in my kayak. That was the instant that I realized the wild screams from the shore were my teammates. They were a rainbow of spirit. If I hadn't been painfully exhausted, I might have been embarrassed.

Ghetto Pig, our heroic driver, was waving the Better Lovers hoodie as if she were a literary gust of wind. NicUnCool, our official videographer, was recording my really, really, really fast approach to the shore. All of the teammates were hollering accurate statements like, "WE ARE GOING TO WIN! KEEP GOING! YOU ARE IN FIRST PLACE! FIIIIRRRSST PLAAAACE!"

I wanted to blow an extravagant kiss for the camera, but I knew that if I stopped paddling, I wouldn't start again. (Seriously. Kayaking those choppy three miles was the most physically exhausting thing I have ever done.) So, I wooted. "Wooooot!" is what it sounded like.

Then I plssshhhhed onto shore, wobbled out of my kayak, weaved to the bell, and rang it. Hurrah! We had finished Ski to Sea! But then someone important told me my timing chip didn't scan, so I moseyed back a few feet, rescanned it, and then returned to ring the bell again. Double hurrah! Bell of Glory! Life is so good!

Who's down for next year?

More Life Goals.

-Go to a concert at the Gorge (July '04, I think)
-See Les Miserables live
-Get backstage passes to a concert I really want to see
-Make a gingerbread man
-Visit every state in the U.S. (overnight stay required) (13 right now)
-See the Northern Lights
-Snowshoe (December '06)
-Ski and/or snowboard (April '08, if cross-country counts)
-Be an extra in a movie
-Make a flambe

Some of these goals are dumb. Should I abandon them like a Danielle-Steel-created husband would abandon his wife of 29 years?

Straight from the B'ham Herald

WELL-READ RACERS

Reading is sexy. That's the message the "Better Lovers" team was trying to spread as they prepared for Ski to Sea Sunday morning.

Downhill snowboarder Lindsay Budzier, 23, said her reading group, comprised of Western Washington University alumnae, joined together for their first attempt at Ski to Sea.

Budzier said she’d only been snowboarding for about three years, but confidently clutched her board, which featured a tattooed mermaid. "(The downhill leg) is mostly hiking, which will be good for me since I'm not a stellar snowboarder," she said.

As her teammates assured her that this would be the first of many Ski to Sea races to come, Budzier laughed. "We'll decide that after we get done," she said.

Ski to Sea! Ski to Sea! Yeah! Ski to Sea!

Better Lovers Ski to Sea team came in first in the Book Club Division! We are so good at racing and life!

But for real, this weekend was amazing. The only downside was that the canoe leg ended up being cancelled. (You know how the swollen Nooksack can be.) Though we didn't come in first or second or four-hundred and thirteenth, we were victorious in the areas of spirit, hilarity, and colorful t-shirts with ironed-on literary terms.

Here is the first of the half a million butter scones... I mean, half a million pictures... to follow:

From the left: Canoeist #1, Canoeist #2, Mountain bicyclist, Kayaker (me), Stop sign, Cross-country skier, Runner, Road bicyclist, Snowboarder

Ski to Sea - in the moment

Our cross-country skier should be done. Our downhill snowboarder is probably hiking up her second hill and will be soaring down momentarily. Our runner is poised to begin her 8, downhill miles, and our road biker is probably hanging out on a lawn chair thinking about Ludacris. She still has some time to kill.

Our canoeists have arrived at their canoeing spot (my enormous car fit a boat on top, bike in the back seat, and three racers on the bench seat) and heard the good news - the event is on! A fast-flowing Nooksack River won't stop us from racing, oh no. Our mountain biker has been dropped off at her location, and has lots and lots and lots of time to think about how we might be the only book club ever to double as a Ski to Sea team.

I am in my shorts and a sports bra, wondering where I can find some sunblock in this hizzouse. Soon, I will call my ride and say, "Ride! Let's go to Zuanich Park where I can prepare and lock up my kayak! And don't pronounce it 'Zuan-ick', because my roommates will make fun of you!" And then I will get ready to paddle, ring the bell of glory, and woot, woot, woot.

The Honda Metropolitan story

At 10 AM this morning, I received a text message from my pal, E-Bot. She was encouraging me to meet her at the Northwest Folklife Festival. Despite the gray skies and E's bad personality, I decided to attend.

But how was I going to get there? The bus? No. I knew there would be enough crazies at the festival. I refused to deal with more. The car? No. Finding parking on Queen Anne Hill is like finding an ounce of decency is NicUnCool's soul - moderately difficult. The scooter? Should I try to cross Interstate 5 and Lake Union on my teensy, two-wheeled vehicle?

Yes!

And I did. It was exciting. I crossed two bridges.

The end.

Method Paddling: What's My Motivation?

Ski to Sea is on Sunday. I am our team's kayaker. If I start slowing down, I'll think of my teammates waiting on shore, and I'll feel inspired to work harder. If that doesn't work, I will pretend I'm in this situation:

(Yes, this picture is real. That kayaker is actually a shark biologist and was intentionally paddling around in those creature-infested waters. The whole stalked-by-shark thing, however, was unplanned. HOW FREAKY IS THAT?!?)

Miniature English Bulldog

I want to leap next to this dog and yell, "Graaa!", startling it awake. It would snort, and I would laugh.

The Best Friend

Former palsy-walsy NicUnCool wrote a cruel blog post, and I considered countering it with this:

Response to Nic's stupid list:
1. My face is more pleasing to the eye compared to your face AND your blog.
2. You are not smarter, faster, or stronger. We will have a wrestling match to prove this.
3. Ok, you are serving "America" through Americorps, but I am serving THE FUTURE OF THE UNIVERSE through my teaching. Oh, and you are getting paid just a wee, wee salary, yes, but I am getting paid NOTHING. I am the ultimate sacrificer. Me and Mulan.
4. That's true. Your handwriting is bigger.
5. I am younger.
6. Um, giant panther versus scrawny, dirty bear? Yeah, giant panther wins.
7. You put on that poll, Nic. You did. And you skewed it.
8. I am the humblest and the prettiest.
9. You have gone on the same number of blind dates as me, and I set you up on one of yours. In fact, on Mother's Day, your blind date texted me, "Happy Mother's Day!"
10. Oats was on a Korum Ford commercial and has been in the audience of SEVERAL episodes of Northwest Afternoon.
11. You haven't even named your stinking cat. You can't claim its cuteness over other cats until it has a name. And a Roth IRA.
12. I have 12 items in my list, whereas you only have 11 in yours.

Yes, that is what I was going to post, but then I thought, "Why don't I let Nic live in her fantasy world while I do productive things like give money to charity and do push-ups?" So, that is what I did. Charity and push-ups.

101 life goals, something through something... 21? through 30?

-Go to a taping of Price is Right (September 2003)

-Invent my own amazing trail mix or granola

-Own a foosball table

-Play poker is Las Vegas

-Build a treehouse

-Make ice cream

-See a rainforest (Does Washington's rainforest count? If so, done.)

-See the underwater Jesus statue in Florida

-Learn to knit

-Learn to crochet

The things I do for book club.

I just finished my Danielle Steel novel for book club. It was incredibly bad. (That was a joke, see, because Ms. Steel always uses unnecessary adverbs.)

This is how I felt about the book:

Pretend that Don, our favorite bartender, is actually Danielle Steel.