Similes

It's raining in Trondheim! What!?! It's northern(ish) Norway in February, and it's raining. Not snowing. Here is what rain in Trondheim is like:

-Ludacris in fishnet stockings
-Snow in Seattle (except for the winter of 08/09)
-An effective clothes dryer in the student laundry rooms
-NicUnCool in a spread of Cool People Magazine
-Baby goats in a spread of Ugly Animal Magazine

It doesn't make sense, not even a little.