School

This morning, I navigated the Trondheim bus system to find the school I'm teaching, waaaay out in the 'burbs. (By this I mean a 15 minute drive or 40 minute bus ride.)

After getting help from one of the high schoolers - excuse me, upper secondary schoolers - I found the office and met with the two teachers I'll be working with. Yes, two! Which means I'll be teaching twice as much as I expected. Which means I'll still be teaching a third of what I taught in the fall. Which means I'll be doing juuuust enough to keep me out trouble.

The teachers are wonderful. One reminds me of my Aunt Becky. That's good. I like Aunt Becky. And the other one offered me a few slices of moose meat! Great first impressions.

Now I am going to do laundry. By 3:00 today, I will have done more productive things than the entire last week. Holla' fo' Monday.

Moose Post

This list may or may not continue in future entries

Here are some things that, as far as I can tell, are the same in Norway and the United States:

1. Fire. Fire here - candles, wood stoves, etc. - looks just like fire at home.

2. Asphalt. Still dark, still hard, still often driven and walked upon.

3. My inability to find wild bears. It seems that the U.S. and Norway are in cahoots to prevent me from seeing a wild bear. As a guest in this country, I should be polite and say, "It's ok. I don't need to see a bear." But you know what? I do. I do need to see a bear.

4. Feeling cold/warm. In both countries, humans feel cold and warm, depending on the temperature.

More insightful observations to come.

Sidewalk Drama

The past two days, I have been walking daintily. The world is covered in ice, you see, and it's tough to reach the mini-bank* without slipping. With the help of others (advice and the occasional arm-balance), I had been doing all right - better than the bus, at least, who took about fifty hours to get through the roundabout.

That is, until two hours ago. Sara and I were returning from the grand Moholt Storesenter experience when WHOOSH! I am on the ground. The purse was flown inches, INCHES!, away form my body. Very dramatic.

I consider it a precious form of Weather Hazing, and now I'm officially a (quite temporary) resident of Norway.

*Mini-bank = ATM. HOW CUTE IS THAT.

How I was a typical American

Last night, I met three gentlemen from Azerbaijan. I didn't know anything about Azerbaijan, and it was embarrassing. My caring soul decided to research and present you with some information about Azerbaijan so you won't have to go through what I went through. You're welcome.

Azerbaijan
Population: 8,177,717
Literacy rate: 98.8%
Government type: Republic (some say this is debatable)
Year formed: 1991 (became independent of the Soviet Union)
Big money-maker: Oil
Predominant Religion: Muslim (93.4%)
Silly factor of the three Azerbaijanians I met: High

The Azerbaijanians tell me that there are lots of Americans in Azerbaijan, and that they are awesome. So, Americans in Azerbaijan, thanks for canceling out my appalling lack of knowledge about the country you're working/studying in.

I will try not to shame myself and country again. I'm off to study more world geography.

Eins, Zwei, Die: The Blog Off is On

And I am already in the lead with a picture of Norwegian bathroom graffiti:

If I judged the 4.6 million Norwegians based on this graffiti, I'd say they were kind of downers, but I know there is more to a country than one stall in the the third largest municipality's library's public bathroom.

(Sorry ahead of time for shaming you with my mad blogging skills, Sara.)

I freaking love the grocery store.

I realize that I'm looking at everything here in a comparey/contrasty way, but as the differences fill me with joy and excitement instead of disgust and superiority, I feel OK about this skewed world view. On that note...

EGGS ARE SOLD IN CARTONS OF 10! WOW!!!

They are not as giant as the egg pictured above.

Juicy gossip

Magpies hop around all over Scandinavia. They're like crows, kind of, in that they're everywhere and kind of annoying. One often sits outside my window on a branchy tree.

INTERESTING FACT: Magpies are the only non-mammal (tested so far) that can recognize their own reflection in a mirror.

You're welcome for the bird information.

Foreigners

Last night, I met a bunch of friendly foreigners. (Yes, I am a foreigner, too). They all spoke English. Every single one of them. Even before they knew I was American, they'd introduce themselves to me in English with their German, French, Pakistani, Spanish, or cadaver* accent.

Even foreign couples speak English to each other! Like, if a Russian girl is dating a French guy, they probably speak English to each other. All this English language makes me feel fortunate... and guilty for not being fluent in anything else. I did show off my German counting skills, though. I am brilliant when it comes to counting to twenty in German. Eins, zwei, drei, vier...

I was talking to a German guy about it and he said, "But we hear a lot in English, like music and movies. I can't imagine if everything I heard was in my language. Can you?"

"Yes," I answered, "because just about everything I hear is in English. Every song, pretty much every movie, every TV show...." (I finished this quote just so I could include the links.)

And surprisingly, he was a little surprised.

That English. What a language.

*If you haven't figured out what "cadaver" means because you have been living on the former-planet Pluto or something, one uses "cadaver" or "cadav" to mean "whatever" or "whatev", respectively. This word is all the rage with me and about two of my friends.

It is the light.

I slept in until 1 again. It's like I am a middle school kid in the throes of adolescence, except that I WANT to do something productive.

Here are the things I would have done if I would have woken up at a more godly hour:
-Found and introduced myself to the local bears
-Had a lunch AND breakfast, instead of just a lunch with breakfast foods
-Wrote a power ballad about the holes in Kroners
-Read lots and lots of my book, instead of just lots of my book (it's Swedish! translated into English!)
-Other things

Instead, I will pass on the 1:30 trip to downtown (stores are closed anyway), clean myself in the shower that has two closey doors so when you're not showering you can make more room in the bathroom, and wait for more snow flurries to add to the 14+ inches of snow. This sounds lovely, too.

This is how fun I am.

Last night, I dreamed I was Rachel from Friends, and I saw Ross (also from Friends) go into a public women's restroom. I, Rachel, laughed until I fell on the floor. Then Monica came in and laughed, too.

Then I, Kelly, woke up laughing.

Oops

I had an informal meeting at noon today with the student assistant and one of my fellow student teachers. I went to bed at 11, assuming I'd wake up in pleeeenty of time to make a delicious breakfast of eggs, sausage, and toast, and then mosey out the door.

Instead, I woke up at 1. One! In the afternoon! How did this happen?

So, I wrote an apologetic email, forgave myself for all the sleep, and moved onto breakfast. However, it turns out that the "sausage" I bought is not sausage at all. The dictionary says it's some kind of compound word meaning "serve lazy." Bad sign. Judging by the texture, I think it is some kind of liverwurst. In case it actually does need to be cooked, though, I'm not going to eat it until a Norwegian confirms what is in that red tube of meat.

Now I am watching ski jumping and researching places to buy an alarm clock. The sun is hovering over the horizon. Thus is life today.