Crash course to a smooth, smooth ride.

The Better Lovers are a rowdy bunch. On the left, you can catch a glimpse of our usual book club activities (though the photo does not include every member).

Thanks to the brilliance of E-Bot (khakis) and Corncake (not pictured), the Better Lovers are expanding our interest. On May 25th, 8 of us will be participating in the world famous Ski to Sea Race.

I'm not kidding!

Ski to Sea begins on Mount Baker and ends in Bellingham Bay. It sounds like Kris (red shirt) will be kicking off the race with the cross-country skiing leg (note clever "kicking off" and "leg" pun), and I (denim jumpsuit) will be finishing it up on the kayak. Downhill skiing, running, road biking, canoeing, and mountain biking have yet to be officially claimed.

If you have a kayak, canoe, wet suit, or, you know, muscles to donate to the cause, your support would be greatly appreciated.

Ok. Exercise time.

Nic and I end our conversations abruptly.

Me: I don't think you would pick me a flower.

NicUnCool: I would! I would run through brackleberries to pick you a flower! I'd come out all bloody and scabby and brackleberried, but I would pick you a daisy!

Me: Hahahahahaha. Thanks. Bye.

NicUnCool: Bye.

::click::

Zoo 2!!!

Penguins are precious. Unfortunately, the Woodland Park Zoo only had penguin. Singular. The lone, non-flying bird sat on its little island and honked a lonely, wheezy noise. Where were the others?

My friend texted me to say the penguins had syphilis. This was a lie.

Brilliant research helped me find the answer: renovation! Not as exciting as penguin STDs, but pretty swell, anyhow.

I love the zoo.

Zoo!!!

"Graaa!" That is the sound the Grizzly Bear made when fighting the other Grizzly Bear. "Hooray!" That is the sound my mind made watching the Grizzly Bears be so rowdy.

Before yesterday, I would have argued that the only adorable bears are baby bears. I would have been so wrong! Geeze, yesterday, the Grizzly Bears were chasing ducks, throwing driftwood, and scratching their furry, furry backs on the glass wall behind which I was standing! Can YOU say you have been five inches from a Grizzly Bear? No, you cannot. But I can. And I will. In fact, I will lord it over you every day.

---

"Silence!" That is the sound the Sloth Bear made when fighting the other Sloth Bear. "Haha!" That is the sound my mind made watching the Sloth Bears be so silly. And existent. Who's heard of a Sloth Bear?

On the left is an actual photo. No Google Imaging. We didn't capture the moment when one S.B. bit the other one's booty in hopes of pulling it off the stump, but this is a special picture nonetheless. Beary Bear is opening its mouth like I do in pictures!

Yesterday was the best zoo trip anyone has ever had in the entire history of the world, and if you say otherwise, I will remind you how close I have been to a Grizzly Bear, which will show how tough I am, and then I will suggest we start a wrestling match, and you will back down because I am the strongest and bravest.

Now all we need is Arrested Development.

Roommate says, "Cute Overload: Ding ding ding!"

I found this picture at cuteoverload.com. Here is a breakdown of why this is truly an overload of cuteness:

1. Stubby legs (like Jodi)
2. Wrinkly face (like the crease over my right eye)
3. Disproportionately large paws (like some basketball player, probably)
4. Asleep in food (like someone who got really tired and fell asleep in their food)
5. General puppiness

In sum, this puppy is so cute it makes me want jump up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down.

A hunch.

Seven women just left their culty cave in Russia. Now, I can't prove this, but I bet those women looked a little like a certain Nic-Nic-Nicaroo.

Pee Puzzlement

Twice this spring break, I became concerned about my brightly colored pee. "What is going on?" I asked my super-healthy body. "Why the bright color?!?"

Then, this afternoon, I read the giant letters on the Odwalla carton from which I was swigging: Blueberry B Monster.

B. Vitamin B. Vitamin B makes one's pee brightly colored.

Mystery solved.

Gasoline: silly and serious

Because I am such a good friend and blogger, I'd like to direct you to this article. It says that if you drive slower on the freeway, you'll get much better gas mileage.

Also, how adorably clever is the fuel/wallet thingy on the left?

Prodigal Summer

Here is a story:

Yesterday, a customer and I were making small talk about books. I told her I was reading Prodigal Summer. She slammed her hand down on the counter and stated, "I swear to God, that is my favorite novel ever." The customer left me a two dollar tip on double tall Americano ($2.05).

This morning, I finished Prodigal Summer. I thought to myself, "This lovely book makes some good arguments for growing and eating organic. I will do that."

This afternoon, I went grocery shopping. I opted for organic onions, carrots, and milk. My grocery bill came to $38.51. If I bought non-organic, it would have cost something like $36.45. I paid in cash. Two of those dollars came from the Kingsolver loving customer.

In conclusion, reading Prodigal Summer helped me save the earth a little, my body a little, and I got someone else to pay for a little of my bill.




This was more interesting in my head.

I got out a calculator.

One in 1,280 humans speaks Norwegian.

I am so excited to learn this extremely useful language.

Awesome Jobs List

This guy's job is U.S. National Ambassador for Young People's Literature. Add that to the Awesome Jobs List.

Well, first I should create the Awesome Jobs List.

Awesome Jobs List
-U.S. National Ambassador for Young People's Literature
-Redwood Forest Mosey-Througher
-Official Appreciator of Baby Animals
-Hot Summer Months Slip-n-Slider

List will be updated periodically.