An owl named Pigwidgeon could have delivered this.

I went to Harry Potter land for my bachelorette party. Oh yeah, I totally outbacheloretted you. There, I received the poem below and several tasks that I failed. (Don't judge me. It's hard to order butterbeer in Parseltongue....)

KJDub, the girl who lived,
Many missions you will be gived.

All these tasks you must complete
Or Harpy Walden, Voldy will eat.

You will be given tasks one at a time.
None involve coronas and lime.

Don't look for owls. Florida is too hot.
Task by text is what you've got.

Blimey! Each task will be hard.
Always be vigilant, be on your guard.

Strange people may approach you.
You must complete those tasks too.

After completing the tasks you'll be ready to wed,
And be ready for hippogriff-style in the marriage bed.

Like Harry Potter, you can rely on your friends.
They'll be with you until the end.

We hope you succeed. We hope you don't flunk.
Because once you succeed, we can get crunk!

Beat the Drum, Parts 1 and 2

Reason #1 Today is a Good Day:
Hamble and I are celebrating two years since our first date. Aw. To honor the occasion, we will eat ice cream.

I love Hamble. Here we are eating sausage on date #1:

Psych! That's a picture of 2 aardvarks, one adult one baby.

Here we really are:



Reason #2 Today is a Good Day:
You know about Better Lovers Book Club, right? And you know they're my favorite people, and how we always have giggle storms together, and how they all live far away?

Well, scratch that last one off, because THREE - one, two, three! - are moving to Seattle within the next few months. I knew about EBot and Lynn, but now Jodi too! Woweewowowow.

Simile time: three of my bffs moving to Seattle is like waking up and discovering a thirty-foot high Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in my backyard. And that Peanut Butter Cup would be sheltered from the rain and other treat-stealers by a beautiful yet intimidating tent.

S2S09 Details

Ski to Sea is a relay race. There are seven legs, as if it is a monster. Here's how it went down for the Book Club Division Champs:

Cross-country skiing: Me. I got fifth place... or fifth from last. Actually, I only noticed four people behind me, but records indicate there were more. Next year, I intend to get fifth from first. You heard it here first!

Downhill snowboarding: Michelle. She is my original hiking buddy, and she is the world's most mountain-goat-like human... in climbing ability, not looks. (She is definitely hoofless.) Michelle was amazing. She sprinted up a mountain passing dozens and then flew down in time measurements so small there are not yet words for it. That's incredible, because there are lots of words for time measurements.

Running: EThomps. EThomps' knees took it for the team as she sprinted down Mount Baker ahead of all those fools whose teams Michelle had passed. She was a stud. AND SHE SAW A BEAR! As much as I need to see a wild bear, I would not trade places with EThomps because running 8 miles down a mountain is ridiculous and only mad, athletic folks like EThomps do things like that.

Road biking: Lynn. Lynn zoomed nearly 40 miles to Everson and, as far as we know, was never attacked by anything from above. This includes both birds and anvils. She was, however, attacked by the enthusiastic screams of her teammates as they/we drove by in a tizzy of support.

Canoing (is that really how you spell it?): EBot and Courthouse. These two blockheads were not blockheady on the Nooksack River! No, no, they paddled their way to v-i-c-t-o-r-y with strength, intellect, and images in their heads of men in red dresses.

Mountain biking: Jodi. Jodi was our star athlete. When she finished her racey leg, her body legs were covered with mud and success. She came in 104th overall! Out of, like, 400 people! Geeze, Jodi is fast.

Kayaking: Bethany Jean. Bethany not only rocked the kayak better than I did last year (rocking as in "did a swell job", not a "made the boat floop back and forth"), but she wore a cuter hat! OMG, Beth! Additionally, she crossed the finish leg with flair as she unintentionally did the Stanky Leg while ringing the Bell of Glory.

Managing/Driving: Ghetto Pig. Last year, G.P. saved the day by coasting down the mountain with only cubic centimeters of gasoline left in the car. This year, she planned ahead and didn't even need to coast! After the race, she was selected as MVP and next-book-chooser for the Book Club portion of our Book Club/Ski to Sea team.

Assistant to the Managering/Video taping: NicUnCool. NicUnCool had to work for Jesus Sunday morning, but she carried her weight - in this case, "weight" means "cooler" - later in the day. Plus, she and Ghetto Pig chose some excellent crafts for the Eve of Race dinner. I admit, I gave NicUnCool a hard time for mixing up her priorities the first half of race day, but she did all right. She did alllllll right.

S2S09

I haven't told you about Ski to Sea 2009! Oh my gosh! You aren't prepared for this entry! The reason I didn't internettily build up the race like I did last year, though, was because I was training hard.

Maybe that's a lie.

Prepared or not, Better Lovers Book Club participated in Ski to Sea yesterday. We won. First place. Millions of dollars in prize money and overwhelming amounts of media attention.

Maybe that's another lie!

We did get first place in the little known (as in, our team knows about it, and now you know about it) Book Club Division. Second year in a row! Two for two!

Details later, if I feel like it. Until then, a team picture:

Please notice my new spectacles.

Reuinted and it feels so good.

One thing I missed while in Norway: book club. Look at us. Look! Only literacy and hilaaaaaaarious jokes about Voldemort could bring forth such smiles.

Two Questions, One Opinion

Two Questions:
1. Would you rather have a son like Bart Simpson or Rod Flanders?
2. How many of the 10 Commandments do you know?

One Opinion:
The Year of Living Biblically is the best book we have chosen thus far.

Literacy and beer.

Tonight, I celebrate four things (listed in order of importance): free popcorn, literature, Bellingham, and friendship.

Yes, Envious Reader, tonight is my book club. Tonight, Better Lovers* come together.



*Better Lovers is a group of fabulous twenty-something ladies who wholeheartedly agree that READERS MAKE BETTER LOVERS! They have no evidence to support that statement. There is talk of declaring it on a hoodie, though. Every now and then, Better Lovers meets at a dive bar in Bellingham, Washington to discuss a book of varying social and political importance. Then the alcohol kicks in and they get off topic and start fighting with those little plastic swords that impale maraschino cherries in certain drinks. You probably couldn't handle it.