For NicUnCool, who brings out the prettiest in me

Mystery solved

Have you heard about the universities receiving millions of dollars from an anonymous donor? And you know how everyone wants to know who it is? I have the answer.

It's me.

Psssyyyyccchhh. But it could be, practically, with the $400 tax rebate I just got. You da bomb, federal government!

PS Regarding the "federal government" link, I KNOW there are other branches in the federal government, but I liked this website best. Get on it, judicial system.

This graph won't put you to sleep, unless you're French or American or something.

Who the heck sleeps the most? Norwegians? Koreans? Mexicans? Americans? Answer: none of those, you turkey. It's the French!

Here's a graph. The bars represent the average number of minutes slept by citizens surveyed.

"Bonjour, I am French, and I am sleeping."

Birthday Party

A few weeks ago, I had a birthday party. We chose our favorite decade and dressed up to fit in that decade. Then we sang Karaoke. Here are a few pictures that don't do the night justice.

Shannon (left) did my hair (center). She is a genius. Brittany (right) had green jaguars hidden in her one-piece. Truth.

Renee and Steve were pilgrims. They won Best Party People. I'm not sure how Renee got into her dress, but I am impressed. Here they are singing "Country Roads."


Drew and I represented two different decades, and we represented them well.

Smoothie post

My favorite drink is the smoothie. Has been for years. In high school, it might have been an obsession. Smoothie here, smoothie there, smoothie smoothie everywhere!

Here are the qualities of a good smoothie:
-Thickness
-Fruitiness

That's it. They're delicious AND simple. Holla atcha, smoothie!

Wowee wowowowee wow! I need a cat door.

Discontent

Forever ago, Washington enacted this law tsaying you can't talk on a cell phone while driving. That's dumb. I realize conversations about donuts/gay rights/cadav are distracting, but they're not the only thing. However, they're the only distraction legislated!

Soooo silly.

Here are things I do while driving that distract me as much or more as when I talk on my cell phone:
-Dance in a silly manner.
-Eat string cheese.
-Play rhyming games with the pair of aardvarks that always hang out in the back seat.
-Look for my sunglasses. I can never find them.
-Get blinded by the sun because I don't have my sunglasses.
-Check out puppies on the sidewalk.
-Sideswipe other Chevrolet Luminas so I can be the only one on the road.
-Look for Salt'n'Pepa on my iPod.
-Spill tea on my pants.
-Change into my celebrity outfit in case common folk at my destination (usually Safeway) ask for my autograph.
-Shave my legs and armpits using only a sharp rock.

Is congress going to regulate how much sun gets my eyes? Tea/pant conflicts? MY LEG STUBBLE? No, and they shouldn't get in the way of me calling friends to discuss urgent matters like Stonehenge.

I'm looking out for all of us. Keep that in mind when I run for important political positions, like treasurer of the Chevy Lumina Society. Yes, treasurer AND founder. I know.

Or The Year of Tiny Animals (Relatively Speaking) Standing Next to Their Giant Parents?

The Year of 24

Remember that post about being 23? And how Coolio rapped, "I'm 23. Will I ever live to see 24? The way things is going, I don't know"? Well, unless Griffey knocks a ball out of the ballpark and onto my gentle head, I can confidently say yes. I will live to see tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'm 24.

Usually, I declare the years as something. I think last year it was The Year of Average Haircuts as well as the traditional Year of Kelly Walden. Here are some ideas for this year:
-The Year of Pretty Comfortable Shoes
-The Year of Oatmeal with Cinnamon
-The Year of Appreciating Wild Plants
-The Year of Hydrated Skin
-The Year of Lemons (literal, not figurative)
-The Year of Susan Boyle

Others may come to me as a I gaze at the beautiful lemon tree picture to the left. Heeeeeey lemon tree.

Meet Susan Boyle.

Susan Boyle will make your heart explode, in the good way. Some rascal* won't let me put the video on my blog, so you're just going to have to click this link.

Prepare yourself for the most special seven minutes of your Youtubey life.

*"Rascal" is most commonly used by a fellow named Drew.

Neuroticism by state

The picture is both interesting and linky!

Bissues

Our dogs' names are Buster and Blue. If you have a master's degree, like me, then you noticed that both names start with "B." That's why my life is complicated.

You see, I like to call dogs by their first initial. It welcomes them into the friendship club. But if I only did that, it'd be like our dogs have the same name!

Here is how I deal with the B crisis:
-Call them both "B", like "Hey B. Hey B."
-Call them "[Color] B", like "Hey Brown B. Hey Black B."
-Call them "B" and "Other B", like "Hey B, Hey Other B," depending on who I saw first.
-Call them "Big B" and "Little B," like "Hey Big B. Hey Little B." Unfortunately, this is complicated too, since "Little B" is always Blue, who is actually bigger than "Big B", Buster. It's an age thing.

Though it can be confusing for me, I'm confident that the doggers understand who the heck I'm talking to. Good job, B's.